I have found when hooking up that many gay men are bottoms. My online ads project that I am a top, and that I will take control and they can just come along for the "ride" and enjoy it without the pressure of staying hard, orchestrating positions and giving the bottom a great ride.
I have often marveled that my rather average appearance, decent body but above average cock have pulled in some truly stunning young men. My persona in hooking up is friendly, open but confident and experienced. Usually, when I meet a new young hook up, the guy looks REALLY happy and pleased with the man in front of them. I usually think how the fuck did I get so lucky! When I meet a young man I am already "preapproved" though as they have seen my face, several cock photos and a naked torso pic. The ones that I don't click with have already passed me by. If a guy is into me he is almost for sure a bottom, but he might be a top who secretly wants to hand over control and be a bottom. If the guy is super attractive to me, but won't commit to meeting, I'll tell him that I love to rimm if he is right out of the shower, and I will rimm him as long as he can take it. That usually seals the deal and I get him to come over and lead him to the bed.
For some reason, I also attract virgins. True virgins. I guess they feel that I am experienced and will take good care of them and get the job done. Usually with virgins, they don't tell me that until the hook up is basically scheduled. Virgins can be a lot of work, and it is often not really worth the effort. If they request a condom, it is doomed to fail as if I am wearing a condom, the bottom is tight and I'm having trouble getting inside their ass, I tend to go soft. What I do in that case is I take the condom off, then I rimm the bottom some more to get hard again. I put on another condom and try again to get in their ass. I think it doesn't help that my cock is much thicker than the average guy. I'll go through this routine for 2 or 3 condoms, then tell the guy that I am out of condoms, but I'd like to lick his ass some more. I'll then get rock hard and tell him that I just want to rub my dick head on his hole. That I don't want to fuck him without a rubber, I just want him to feel what a hard cock at his hole feels like. I'll get on top, missionary style and have my cock between his legs and fuck his crack area fast and hard, rubbing his hole with my length. Then I'll wet the cock head wet with spit or lube and put the head right at the hole and tap the hole with my cockhead, but make no effort to slide it in, so he will relax and know I'm not going to try to rape him (I WILL TRY TO SEDUCE HIM THOUGH). I'll go back to furiously fucking his crack concentrating on contracting my abs and basically simulating that he is getting fucked and bred by a straight guy. More than 50% of the time the guy will push back on my raw cock and tell me to fuck him. I'll fuck him lightly until he opens up, then pick up the pace. If he can handle it, I'll fuck the hell out of him. Usually they say to pull out, and I tell him that I will pull out, but I just want to leave it in just a little longer. The guy is almost always OK with this, and I'll softly whisper in his ear that I'm close but I won't come inside. I'll tell him how good he is making me feel and thank him for doing this for me. I'll tell him again that I really need to cum inside him. Please Baby Please. I won't cum inside you unless you tell me too. The guy is usually going nuts at the point, moaning, groaning, breathing super fast. I'll say, are you liking this dick in your ass? Do you now love getting fucked? Will you cum back so I can fuck you again? I've never felt this good before (I probably mean it at that moment). Do you love it when I slam my cock into you? I'm close. Can I cum in you? Just give me another few seconds before I cum. I want to cum in you. I'm about to cum. I pick up the speed and say how do you want to cum? They almost always say Fuck me harder. Cum inside me. Often they are pulling on my ass to keep me in deep. I breed them and they just had the best orgasm of their life.
Half of the guys at least I hook up with never mention condoms. When I see an ad that says "Safe Sex Only", I realize that only probably 20% stick with that when they are getting well fucked. When an ad says they are a bottom, I know that they are a bottom. When an ad says "Verse", I know that with me they are a bottom. If the ad says he is a top, I know that I can probably fuck him.
Here is how I look at it:
Top=Bottom, until he proves otherwise.
When two true tops hook up, one of the two can almost always be flipped. It just depends on who is more masculine and is better at the "Mating Dance". The best medicine for getting a top to bottom is being from out of his area (so that the top won't be able to tell anyone and blow his cover), and to rimm him. I actually really like to rimm if the guy is super clean and doesn't have anything weird going on down there. When I am with a super attractive masculine top, especially a straight type black guy, and he is rimming me, it does occur to me that I could be flipped. I really desire that he fuck me, but I also know that as soon as he started to try, I would be painful and worried about diseases and chicken out. I also realize that if he was a little better at the mating dance and tried just a little longer, rimmed me a little longer, that I might get fucked. Thank Goodness it never happens.