Mental Torment

This post is out of order and should have been written 3 years so.  It is referring to the reason that I stopped blogging 3 years ago after meeting a guy named Chad. 

My mental torment over Chad having maybe played me, (or maybe I came on too strong) left in me a funk that lasted for months. Here is how it ended:  The next couple of months, we texted constantly.  The same awesome conversations that we had in the bedroom.  We totally clicked.  Warning signals were going off in my head though.  I was always the one who initiated the texts.  I would vow to not text him, and wait for him to text me first.  He never texted first.  I knew I was probably over reaching, and acting like a female Justin Beiber fan.  I couldn't help it though, I just had to hear his thoughts.

A month later, I was returning to his city in Virginia.  We were supposed to meet up that night.  When the time came though, he had a crisis with a friend he was helping out and couldn't make it as he wasn't even in town.  It sounded fishy to me. (I'm finishing this post 3 years later).  All of his business and success was definitely true.  I think he was sort of a con man though.  He made me feel fantastic and took away all of my doubts and feelings of shortcomings.  I had never met anyone who made me feel so whole, so desired, so confident.  I think that was his thing, making people feel great and making them fall for him.  In his defense, I am VERY SURE, I was coming on too strongly and too quickly as we had only actually met up for  2 nights. We later spent MANY hours on the phone and texting.  It felt like we were soul mates.   In later conversations though he would be VERY enthusiastic about each time we were supposed to meet again but he always had a crisis to attend to at the last minute.  I decided to save face and let him drift away.  If he really wanted me he could always call or text.  Bye Bye Chad. I had really loved you. Thanks for picking me Baby, even if only for a short while.